Let me tell you a secret, most singles who create online dating profiles despise the word 'dating'? Just the thought of going on three dates a week for six to 12 months makes daters cringe and feel overwhelmed.
I often hear singles say that they want to get through the necessary steps of courtship and slide from going right to entering a relationship in a heartbeat. But good things never come easy, love can't be rushed and it takes time.
It would be ideal if a magic wand could make the object of your dream seed appear within the first three days of you going online, but this is an unrealistic expectation.
Like traditional courtship, there are different STEPS to the online dating process, and following them will help you to achieve your relationship goals.
Jump into an online dating app
The days of whispering to your friends that you're considering signing up for a dating app that you don't want anyone to know are over. Finding a partner online has become the most popular way to meet people these days, and seeking love conveniently on your phone has never been easier.
To help you get started, you should decide which free dating apps you want to join.
I always recommend joining a well-known mainstream dating site such as Match, OkCupid, Tinder, or Bumble. Then, once you're happy with the platform, add one or two more, including niche dating apps for pet lovers, astrology enthusiasts or gamers, etc.
Set up your profile
Once you've made up your mind, a time has come to move on to the second step of the online dating process. Consider your dating profile to be your love resume, starting with the photo selection.
If you have 8 great photos, you're ahead of the game because singles will swipe left and right quickly based on your main image.
If your phone is filled with endless selfies, it's time to ask a friend or professional photographer to help you take pictures of your various outfits. Make sure your main photo shows you smiling and wearing a bright top (red is my favorite as it is the color of love).
Include a few close-ups and full-body shots in your profile. If you have pets, I suggest posting a photo with your four-legged friend in the sixth photo slot.
Most dating apps on the market ask you to answer some basic questions, including your age, the age range preference of your date, and how far you are willing to travel for a date.
Some popular online dating apps, such as eharmony and OkCupid, will ask you to answer a long list of questions so that the algorithm can send you compatible matches. I recommend taking the time to answer as many questions as possible to help hone the percentage of matches.
If you're looking for a serious and committed relationship, remember to be specific about your dating goals by adding LTR, which stands for Long Term Relationship. If you're interested in something casual, be honest that you're not looking for anything serious.
Swipe and match
Once you've perfected your profile, the fun begins. Being the new face of a dating app is similar to finding a new listing on a form kind of.
In the first few weeks of posting a new dating profile, you will appear in searches more frequently and more people will check out your profile.
It's a good idea to open your dating app at least three times a day and spend some time swiping right or left on the matches sent to you.
You can actively search or set your search parameters using your favorite keywords.
Remember to enable push notifications in your phone settings to receive new information and match notifications. This way, you can respond quickly and get the conversation started.
Chat and communicate
When you finally match with someone you're interested in, know that you should respond the same day or within 24 hours so that the match is more in tune.
Then it's time to improve your vocabulary. Writing messages with very little content, such as simply saying "Hey", can come across as negative and perfunctory, and won't grab people's attention. Don't ask "How are you doing today?" unless you've already made a connection.
On dating apps, shorter messages that include a question are best when people expect more of a response.
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